Fuck It ALL

It seems like every time I want to make a change in my life – even for the better – road block after road block is dropped in my path. It’s getting to the point where I am wondering why I bother. I should just stay in my miserable fucking existence and forget everything.

Last Autumn I decided to look into getting some kind of certification for computers. I would love to work in the computer industry, but everything I know I have learned on my own, so I have no certifications. The only way to get a job with computers is certifications. Not knowing where I could go with certifications with my limited experience, I scheduled an appointment at the local New Horizons Computer Learning Center. I have had previous experience with them from the late 90s when I took some basic end-user classes for Microsoft Word, Excel, Powerpoint and Access and a few others. I enjoyed the classes and so I knew that New Horizons is good at what they do.

So I went to the appointment and discovered that there are three basic entry-level certifications I can choose from: desktop support specialist, network administrator and network security administrator. The network security administrator is what appealed to me most.

Then came the question of cost. It’s $6,000 and a bit for the three certifications that I would be getting. The job I have now is the best one I’ve ever had since college and it still doesn’t pay very much. Hell I can’t even live on my own making what I do. Thankfully, however, there is money coming from the Federal Government, trickling down through the states and parishes (counties) for adults who want to change careers. My only issue with that is they (the state) want you to stay where you are and find work there. That’s not something I want to do. I want to move to another state. Of course I could take the money, get the certifications and then just look for work elsewhere and not tell anyone. The woman I met with at New Horizons said I could conceivably do that, but unfortunately for me, I was born with a conscience that I listen to, so I’ve tried finding financial aide (other than loans) that I could use.

Much to my frustration, there is nothing available for someone who is my age and working, but who needs financial aide for education in order to change careers. At least not that I’ve found yet. Yesterday, a friend suggested that I look at FAFSA but that is only for people who are either attending a college or university or attending a school that has one specific specialisation. New Horizons’ offerings are just a bit too broad for them to qualify.

So now I’m back to the drawing board. I will still apply for the grant that I was told about the first time I visited New Horizons last year, but I’m searching on my own as well and it’s very disheartening to find nothing. How the hell are we truly supposed to help ourselves if we are limited?

It has me in tears this morning. 😥


5 thoughts on “Fuck It ALL

  1. thought.. I know you don’t want to stay there the long hall, but what if you got your certs with state aid. Found a job there for a year get some experiance under your belt..and maybe more money saved up for a move. Then start putting out new feelers to other states after a year. That way you have the certs and some experiance.. It may be easier to get out of state work that way. and they just said the state.. not the city you are in now. 🙂 *hugs* Just a thought.

  2. You have my sympathies and I share your tears and frustrations. It really does take some looking and it sounds like you have been doing that. Let’s see what the original grant you were told of can do for you. Sending all good thoughts your way on this!! ((hugs))

  3. Leo doesn’t have any IT certifications (though he’s still striving for the CISSP). He actually has an AS in electrical engineering, which has absolutely nothing to do with computers. I think you should apply for an administration position with an IT department and get on the job training while you’re pursuing structured IT schooling.

  4. I’m in a similar bind. It seems everything, aid wise, is aimed at younger folk. I recently looked into returning to school to get an associates degree in forensic computer science. However, since I have outstanding loans from the two semesters I spent in college, I can’t get loans for tech school.

    The system really is set up to screw you if you don’t bend to it. At least they could do is kiss me, though.

    Hang tough.

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