Reality or the Alternative?

I’m sitting here with a struggle going on in my head:

listening to friends whose job it is to nurture your dreams

                                      vs.

listening to some stranger who doesn’t give a rat’s ass who I am or what I do or don’t do

                                                                                hmmm…

                           Part of me wants to listen to my friends who care about me while this pounding, militant voice is telling me I should listen to this stranger because they are giving it to you straight.

Friends mean well, but they don’t want to hurt your feelings so they tell you you’re fantastic when you really aren’t. They don’t know the struggle you have wanting to do everything but what you’re supposedly good at. And if you don’t want to do that one thing every waking moment of your life, then you might as well give up because you’re not who you think you are.

I just wish I knew why I struggle with the one thing that means anything to me.

                         All of my dreams have turned to dust and I do nothing about it.

                                              What

                                 the fuck

is wrong with me?

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One thought on “Reality or the Alternative?

  1. Nothing…and yes I am your friend and yes I am giving it to you straight. What I do think (and I say this in love) is that you are your own worst enemy. It’s like I said once about the shovel and the bullshit. Shovel it off to the side and move forward. You’re still going to smell it, but it’s not going to be in your way.

    Allow yourself to relax and realize that there are so many things you are good at. Being a friend. Writing. Compassion. Laughing. Getting others to laugh. Calling people out on their bullshit (in the most delightful way, I might add). And the list goes on. Things don’t always happen as quickly as we want them to..plain and simple. And that is true of everyone and everything.

    Just stop letting the bullshit get in the way. Use that shovel!!

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