If you don’t feel like reading yet another bitch and moan post, either click on the Home button of your browser or follow a link on here somewhere or go get another coffee. You have been warned that clicking on the continue reading link will only lead you to reading the rest of my bitch and moan post.
Still here? Okay…
After firing off this lousy email to a friend of mine, I thought it might be something that’s worth blogging about as it’s my current state of mental whatever at the moment.
Now that I sit here to type everything out, I don’t know where to begin and allow half of what I say to make sense.
The older I get, it seems the more jaded I get. Maybe everyone goes through this. When you realise the world isn’t as great as you thought and you have to struggle through everything just to exist. In that respect, life well and truly is just a bitch. It takes everything and gives very little in return.
Most of the time I try not to think about any of this as it only depresses me, but as it is something my friend is going through right now, it’s thrust into the forefront of my thoughts. As I’ve told you, she’s from India and she’s trying to work out how to remain in the US, though I cannot fathom for the life of me why she would want to stay here. She constantly tells me about the limitations there are even to come here to the US. I find it difficult to believe that there would be any restrictions imposed by the US government since we keep the back door open 24-7. So in the course of our conversations, my struggles are aired over and over.
The bottom line is I really don’t care about this country any more. I just do not give a shit. Period. My friend has suggested that since I feel I am stuck here for the rest of my life, I should maybe expand my education, but why should I incur more debt for no guarantee of any return to me? I spent – no, I wasted – five years of my life getting a degree that I no longer feel has given me any help with jobs. The job I have now is the highest paying job I’ve had since graduation and I make $13 an hour. You’d think after coming up on 14 years out of college my income would be a bit more than that with a bachelor’s degree. So again, I ask why should I incur more debt when I don’t think the reason for the debt I have now has been worth anything to me?
I know you said the main thing I need to do is get out of my parents’ house. How can I with no money? Moving costs. Whether its moving across town, across state, to another state or to another country. Money is not a luxury I possess. The days of a company helping a new hire move went out of fashion about 50 years ago. Besides all of that, the industry I’d like to work in requires far more than I have to offer.
So I’m stuck here in this country.
Stuck here in this city.
Stuck here in this life.