Like Shit Off a Shovel

The English have such brilliant sayings. LOL I am chatting up my friend Jean and this is the conversation…

Me: speaking of cars… I’ve decided that IF I become brave enough to learn to drive over there, I want a SmartCar
Her: scarey
Her: they only little..
Me: yeah…?
Her: think they should have wheels on the roof as well
Me: rofl
Her: but they can park in teeny tiny spaces
Me: there’s only one of me so why do I need something bigger?
Her: where you going to put your storing
Her: ????
Me: on the seat beside me
Me: I ain’t gonna buy out the whole store.
Me: at least not all in one go
Her: [insert rolling on floor laughing smiley by Yahoo]
Me: [insert grinning smiley by Yahoo]
Her: and ..your other..when you find her can have a bigger car…you need your toy..[name of daughter] wants a smart car too
Me: it’s either that or a Cooper
Her: a mini cooper..you know they go like shit off a shovel?
Me: lol
Me: what?
Her: they are fast cars
Me: good
Her: that is what someone says when they say..”like shit off a shovel”

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And another very brief exchange between T1 and I. I’ve been avoiding him like the plague today since he was in a right pissy mood this morning. *rolls eyes*

T1: *sneezes*
Me: Bless you!
T1: Thank you! (after a pause) I need all the blessing I can get.

You said it dude, not me!!!

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A little more about my weekend. Saturday morning I oozed out of bed at 9 and promptly let the dog out. When she came back in moments later, she was acting odd. She was shaking her right front leg like a spaz and after licking at it, she’d work her mouth as though something were in it she wanted out. Upon inspection of the leg… ANTS!!! Before I could do much, I felt a pain in my right index finger. One bit me!!! The lil f-er!!! I promptly scooped her up, toted her to the bathroom where I deposited her in the tub and turned on the tap. I filled the tub about an inch or so deep in the hopes of drowning them, but as I did so, I had these mental images of stories I’ve heard somewhere about floods happening and entire ant colonies surviving as their mound floats in the water. Great. I pulled her out of the water and noticed at least three of the buggers in the water. I stood her on the towel and found a few more which I crushed mightily between my fingers. Then, I cut the fur off her paw and inspected it further for other strays.

I kept close watch on her the rest of the morning because I was worried she might have a reaction. By lunch time she was still okay so I ventured to Walmart to buy some ant killer.

Later Saturday evening, I went with my neighbour to Borders Books for coffee. Well, coffee for her, spiced chai latte for moi. We wandered around for a while… well I wandered. As soon as Gina found the cookbooks in the bargain book section, she plucked up a few and tucked herself into a chair on the second floor. She already has loads of cookbooks and can’t cook much, but she loves looking at cookbooks. When we left, I had two bargain books: one for me, the Elements of Style and one for my friend Jean, The Historian by Elizabeth Kostova.

I asked quietly if we could also stop by Barnes & Noble on the way home because they have a bigger bargain book section. She agreed and we stopped. Not long after arriving, she vanished. I wasn’t too concerned about it, but proceded to look for books for myself. I bought Jonathan Strange and Mr Norell by Susanna Clarke and Sitka by Louis L’amour. The second is presumably for my parents since my dad asked about it specifically not long after they left here. Only problem is he doesn’t read. He prefers audio. hmph.

And that was Saturday.

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